“That’s not what I wanted to happen.”  How many times have you said that?  I know for me, quite a bit.  Confession:  I’m a control freak.  I know it.  In some aspects of life it’s a great thing; especially in the production/music/arts world, but in some aspects of life it’s a really hard thing for me.  Knowing I’m that way doesn’t make it easier, but it does help me to know how to get over things better than before I accepted that fact about myself.

But sometimes, no matter what we know about ourselves or what we know about “getting over things”; it doesn’t make it any easier.  Say there was a job you really wanted and got passed up on, or a house that the deal fell through.  Maybe someone did something horrible to hurt you.  Or maybe someone close to you passed away.

Last month a great friend of mine went to be with Jesus.  He was in his mid-twenties, in great shape, a Godly man, and was diagnosed with a rare, terminal cancer.  He fought like hell for 9 months.  During his battle he always remained positive.  In the last time I was able to see him we ate some BBQ, talked music, sports, family and he talked about how strong his faith had become during this struggle.  I was so amazed by his attitude and outlook.  In the midst of his battle, he wanted to know how he could pray for ME!

My friend didn’t get the healing that I wanted.  I’ll be honest, I was so mad, I was so upset.  How could this incredible guy be gone?  How could what I wanted and what so many others and I were praying for not happen?!?

It was shared at his celebration of life service (by the way, the BEST “funeral” ever!) that in the moments after his passing his mother made this statement to sad friends and family upset over what had taken place, “It takes a little faith to get what you want. It takes a lot of faith when you don’t get what you want.”

Again, just as I was when my friend wanted to pray for me and my life in the midst of the fight for his, I was speechless.  This incredible woman that had just lost her son was not mad at God, wasn’t throwing a fit or doing any of the things I would probably do, instead she was putting more faith in, more trust in God.  During the celebration of life service I watched both this woman and her husband as they worshipped God throughout the service.

Hebrews 12:28 says, “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe”.

Dang, that’s a hard Word.  Things don’t go my way, I get upset, it’s hard not to; but where’s my faith in those moments?  Do I forget about it, or does it get stronger?  In those moments do I take a “break” from God or do I run toward Him and trust in Him even more?  What about you?